Chapter 22: Alone

A/N: The stupid game update made it to where a few of my doors and every single one of my CC windows don’t work, so things won’t match what they were before (or will be, depending on when the pics were shot). I guess chalk it up to more improvements to the settlement. /sigh.

Orion

      Now that Vik moved in with Sama, he went ahead and destroyed the rest of the aircraft, him no longer needing the cabin to use as a makeshift house.
     Rohan has a good idea: We need to build tunnels, underground rooms. They could be used as a cellar if nothing else.

     A few days after phase one of the cellars is complete, Rohan pulls me aside, wanting me to see something.

     I smirk at his outfit when I see it. He still likes to make his own clothes when he can. He pulled that leather from some furniture we found on the mainland. The furniture was too big to lug back to the island, but Rohan stripped it of its leather.
     “Asa and I have constructed something I’d like you to see,” Rohan says, leading me in the direction of the cellar.
     “Do Vik an’ Sama know?”
     “It was Vik’s idea.”
     So I’m the last to know. Good to know where I stand.
     We get down into the cellar, and my mouth drops. There is fencing and doors with locks where there used to be only rooms. “What the bloomin’ hell is this then?”

      “They’re holding cells. We can use them for storage for when we don’t need them.”
     “An’ when exactly do we plan on needin’ ’em?”
     “This is all part of Vik’s defensive plan.”
     “Why am I just now seein’ all this?” My tone heavily implies how I don’t like being left out of things.
     “Look, mate, he asked me to ask you to give me a tour of the traps you’ve created at the beaches, so don’t act like you’re the only one kept in the dark.”
     I suddenly smile.

      Yes, I’d LOVE to ‘show’ you the traps. And how to trip them. When it comes to Yadira, Rohan is beating me at every turn. I can’t blooming help it if he gets to sleep with her every night. Even worse, she’s avoiding me, making it impossible for me to get her alone. So, yes, I’d love to ‘show’ Rohan the traps.
     “Fine, fine. Meet me at sunup and we’ll have a little tour.”
     He agrees, and he shows me how the cell doors lock and unlock, a rather ingenious design that Vik invented. It doesn’t need keys, but it’s impossible to unlock from the other side. Rather tricky if you ask me. The doors, at least, have a sturdy safety on them so we don’t accidentally lock ourselves inside.

     The settlement is changing daily.

     The biggest change is the lack of the ruined buildings. The ones in the worst condition were torn down, and we piled the bricks where the structures once stood. Vik happily gathered the steel rebar, which probably greatly contributed to the fencing, doors, and locks in the cellar.

     Speaking of gathering, we have made many more trips to the old town and brought back loads upon loads of supplies and useful items (including chickens!). We’ve turned what Asa used to live in into a storage facility.
     And with not knowing what else to do with herself, Yadira has discovered she’s rather gifted with cataloguing and organizing everything. So with Rohan discussing with Asa about more work to be done with the cellar, I know exactly where to find her–alone.

      She looks so beautifully ridiculous that I want to melt when I see her. That dress is too big for her. The sleeves keep falling off her shoulders, one at a time, and she’s constantly fixing them. The scarf or handkerchief in her hair makes her look like a peasant, which she is anything but.
     “Hello, Benjamin,” she says with a little smile, looking at me like she can see into my very soul.
     “Evenin’, lovely Yadira. I was wonderin’ if I could talk wiv ye for a bit.” Even in those rags, she takes my breath away.
     Her small smile turns to a look of worry. I knew it. She’s been avoiding me.
     “I… I really should go see if Sama needs help with–“
     “Have ye been avoidin’ me?” I interrupt.
     She pauses, so I continue.

      “I’ve been tryin’ to catch ye alone so we could chat.”
     Her eyes dart around for a moment, almost like she’s devising an escape route. “What about?”
     “What ‘about’? How can ye ask such a thing? About US.” I should’ve been more persistent. I should’ve found a moment or ten when I could literally snatch her away from her duties so that I could remind her of how she feels about me, of how I feel about her. But we’ve all been so busy thanks to Vik’s paranoid delusions. Well, maybe not delusions. It’s probably a good idea to have defenses in place. While we’ve been digging and building and demolishing, Yadira has never been alone.

      She sighs. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have strung you along like this, but I can’t do this. I don’t know WHAT the old me was thinking getting myself tangled up in this mess. I never should’ve led you to believe–“
     I interrupt again. “Led me to believe? Led me to believe… the truth?”
     Her posture stiffens. “The truth is I am married to Rohan.”
     I am more than ready for this debate.

      The sun hides behind clouds on its journey to the horizon, and I take a breath, prepared to once and for all shred her declaration. “Ye already know how I feel about that. I don’t count it as real. But even if, let’s say, ye WERE, then why are ye married wi’ feelin’s fer another man?”
     She takes a step back, and I stand my ground. “I love Rohan. My heart tells me I always have.”
     “An’ what does yer heart have to say about me?” She’s lying if she says she feels nothing, and I’ll happily prove it to her otherwise should she do so.
     “I… I LIKE you, Benjamin. But you have to stop this. I don’t know why you affect me the way you do, but I’m no longer going to act on it.” She tries to stand taller. “I’m not attracted to you; I’m sorry.”
     WHAT? In my momentary shock, she manages to slip past me, but only just so. I grab her wrists and turn her around to face me. “Yadira–“
     “Let me go!” She’s terrified. Dammit.
     I immediately let go of her wrists, but instead, I gently caress her face. She pauses.

      She’s shaking, and I imagine she’s like a small rabbit caught by a fox. She refuses to look into my eyes. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings,” she whispers.
     I continue stroking her cheek. “Then don’t.”
     “You have to stop this. You have to let it go.”
     “I canna. If I could, I would, but I canna. I have never met nor will I ever meet anyone else like you. Yer worth fightin’ for… so much so that I would continue until my dyin’ breath.”
     “No,” she whispers like she’s willing it to be untrue.

      “Ye know it’s true. If ye would but give me a chance, I could show ye just how deeply I love you.” I watch her close her eyes. My voice drops to a whisper. “Just a chance, Yadira. Let me.” I tilt her chin up.

     Yes. This is what I need. Yadira can’t resist me kissing her, and I purposefully keep it gentle, drawing her in. Sweet Mary and Joseph, she kisses me back, and I have to fight myself to remain in control, keeping back the impulse to roughly demand ownership of all of her. No, I want her to meet me there, so I continue to gently encourage her.
     It’s wonderful. Sweet Yadira is kissing me back with growing intensity. The last time, I wanted her immediately. This time looks to be the same, but I need her to want it too. She will, with enough time.
     I moan and grab her shoulder before pushing the dress halfway down her arm, exposing a portion of her breast. I can’t help it; I start increasing my intensity.
     She pulls back and fixes her dress. “Wait.”

      “Why?” I want to push her dress back down. Where should I take her? There’s a chair immediately behind her. The table off to the side is a bit too flimsy for how I’d want to use it. In the next ‘room,’ there’s a sofa, but if I’m going that far away, I may as well take her upstairs to the bed. But first, the dress.
     “This isn’t right,” she says as I kiss her neck.
     “Feels more than right to me,” I mutter against her delicious skin.
     The next voice I hear makes my blood run cold.

      “I think I agree with my WIFE on this one.”
     Yadira tries to escape my grasp, but I hold her fast while I glare at my very rude competition. “Bugger off, ye damn wanker. She’s na yer wife anymore than one of the chickens is.”
     “Sonofabitch, I’ll remove you myself!” He charges at me.

      Idiot! He attempts to punch me while I deftly dodge it and simultaneously get lovely Yadira out of the way. My forearm goes for his throat as if by its own will, and he coughs, unable to avoid the strike. He’s never been any good at hand-to-hand combat, and he’s an imbecile thinking he can have a go at me.
     Seeing my advantage, I take it and shove him face-first onto the rotting floorboards.

      I don’t have to punch him that many times for him to get the point. “Yer an imbecilic, spoiled brat of a festerin’ dunghill not worth a tenth of her, an’ it’s about damn time ye learned that.”
     Yadira’s crying. “Stop it! Leave him alone!”
     Rohan struggles violently, but he’s unable to match my weight. “She’s… not… yours!”
     “Benjamin, let him go!”
     Shock rips through me as I hear my real name again, making me pause in my assault.
     And Rohan sees his own advantage now. Before I realize it, I’m flipped onto my back.

      “You want to talk ‘not worth her,’ fucker?” Punch. “Find a mirror!” Punch punch.
     “No, Rohan, stop it!” Now Yadira is yelling for my sake. Hell, if it makes him look like an ass, he can beat me to a bloody pulp if he likes. I can take it.
     Rohan glares at me before ‘helping’ me stand. As we face each other, Yadira scares me when she runs between us. You don’t run between two bulls ready to kill each other! I have to immediately cancel my instinct to punch at him. Unlike him, I won’t strike if there’s a chance Yadira could get hurt.

       He yells something to me, but I don’t even hear him. I’m entirely focused on how the lovely Yadira presses herself against HIM while pushing ME away. What? But… No! ROHAN’S the ass here. Why are you pushing ME away? 
     “Just go, Orion,” she tells me, and my heart breaks that she didn’t call me Benjamin.

       And there you have it, I think as Yadira cries in Rohan’s arms, her apologies to Rohan doing their best to escape in her sobbing.
     I stumble off into the night. Alone.