After the End

Rohan

      The temperature has cooled somewhat since we brought the boxes up from our mainland expedition. Both Orion and Asa have turned in, but Vik and I are still up. I turn to him to bid him goodnight.

       It was a long day. “Good day today, right? I’ll see you in the morning.” Before I turn around, he stops me.
     “I was hoping if I could talk to you about something.”
     “Sure?” I wonder if this has to do with the guns. I don’t mind training Asa if that’s what he’s on about.
     “It’s about Sama,” he answers to my expression.
     “Oh.”
     He doesn’t say anything else immediately, just standing there watching me.
     I can’t take the silence right now. “What did you want to know?”

      He takes a breath. “Well, for lack of a better term, you’re her ‘baby daddy,’ correct?”
     “Er… right. I suppose you could say that.” I don’t have much to do with Zane; he’s a strain on my relationship with Yadira. Not that I don’t care for him, but he’s not my first priority.
     “So be honest with me, did you just… try out both women and decide which one you liked better?” His nostrils flare out.
     “What? No. I’ve only wanted Yadira from the moment I met her.”
     His anger suddenly skyrockets.

       “So you just USED her? So even though you didn’t really want her, you thought you’d wet your dick one more time before getting with the one you really wanted?”
     Whoa. I’d heard of Vik’s infamous temper before, but I’d not been witness to it and certainly not been its recipient. I’m reminded of the time Reck came to Corin complaining about him and I overheard.
     One thing IS for sure, though, I will not be spoken to like that.

      “You hold it before you go jumping to conclusions. Sama came to ME, saying she wanted a child. I told her I wasn’t interested, but she convinced me anyway. This was NOT my idea.” I’m ready to punch him if he decides to pin more blame on me and start yelling again. I’ll show I’m not to be bullied. I’m not having another Reck.
     He glares at me, seeing I’m ready to strike, but he continues with his interrogation. “So she came to you,” he states the question.
     “Right.” My fist remains clenched, and my heart races. He’s stopped glaring, so I pause in my intention to break his jaw.
     “Was she in love with you?”
     Now he’s accusing me of breaking her heart? “No, gods dammit. And she never acted like she was. She told me she wanted that before anything got started with me and Yadira. She probably would’ve asked Asa next, but she wasn’t, isn’t, interested in either of us.” My fist relaxes, and I work at catching my breath, a realization finally taking hold. Fecking hell. Is THAT what this is all about? “No, mate. She fancies YOU.”
     He jumps a little with the result being his posture wilting. The inner part of his eyebrows raise, and he pulls a hand up to lightly tug at one of the strings from the hood of his shirt.

      “You think so?” He’s gone from raging to wilting in a matter of moments, all because of what I told him.
     All the same, I don’t want to put words in Sama’s mouth. “If she fancies anyone, it’s you.” At least, if what I saw of her staring at him meant what it looked like it meant, she is. I feel my lips quirk. “One thing I CAN tell you is I’ve never seen Sama so eager to do laundry than when you were building the forge.”
     That makes him stand taller. “Really.”
     I grasp his shoulder and nod. He takes a breath and nods back at me, then he walks to the door, taking off his shirt as he goes, and placing it on a nearby shelf.

Sama

     When the guys arrived back at the island, I was so relieved I could cry. Then, I almost did cry when Orion laughingly handed me a box of books, jokingly saying he thought I could use a few more.
     I get Zane to go to sleep, and I pick one out of the box. It’s a cookbook, but most of the recipes I can’t do. We have no flour. Oh, how I’d love to have some kind of grain!

     Vik walks in, and I stop paying attention to the book, even though my eyes remain on it. He’s acted really moody this past week, and I’ve unhappily avoided him. I miss the days when I could covertly watch him work.
     What is he doing here? “Hello,” I say, not looking up.
     “Hi,” he replies and walks over to me. Then he sits down.

       He doesn’t speak after that, merely acting like he’s trying to calm his breathing. I wish he would tell me why he’s here. Oh, my imagination can come up with some reasons, many of them in line with some girlie fantasies. Who knew I could be a romantic? Perhaps those novels struck more of a chord than I first figured.
     I reach up to turn a page, keeping up the pretense of reading. My eyes dart down and over to him frequently. He was wearing a shirt earlier when he arrived back at the island. He must be getting ready to go to sleep because it’s off now.

      What was the heroine’s name in that book? Oh yeah. Erienne. What a pretty name. And it was so entertaining how the love of her life spent most of the novel getting on her last nerve, even though she was inexplicably attracted to him. When they FINALLY got over themselves and admitted to the other one how they felt, it was explosive in the best way possible. I sigh happily.

     That gets Vik’s attention, and I see out of the corner of my eye when he turns to look at me. I do my best to pretend to be REALLY INTERESTED in the mostly-useless cookbook. Honestly, I’d love to make this fish recipe, but I don’t have any paprika.
     Is he wanting me to put the book down?

      He takes in and lets out a deep breath as he looks straight ahead again. I can’t possibly gauge his mood other than pensive, but he’s frequently pensive.
     His fingers lightly tap on his legs, and I can’t take it anymore. I put the book down at my feet.

      “Is there something you wanted to discuss?” I do my best to keep my tone light.
     “Yes,” he finally speaks.
     “Well, I’m listening.”

      “I wanted to report to you that our expedition went incredibly well.” His eyes have the barest trace of a smile.
     “That’s good.” Oh. He’s ‘reporting to the leader.’ That’s all. “Did you find what you were looking for?”
     “We did. And more. You saw the guns, right?”
     I look at my lap. “Yes.” And they scared the dickens out of me. I understand their necessity, but they’re like a relic from a bad dream.
     “Good. Because I want to let you know that they work. And we have ammo.” He pauses. “I think I smelled what might’ve been the tiger, Sama.” To my horrified expression, he continues, “That’s why I wanted to point out the guns work. We were alert, but we didn’t find much of a trace of it, or them.”
     The idea that I could’ve lost any or all of the guys terrifies me. “It’s not safe over there, then!” I don’t want them going back.

      He reads my expression. “We need to go back there, Sama. There’s so much more we didn’t explore. There are so many other things we could find.”
     “You mean like a pride of tigers.”
     “We’re hunters! So I’ll bring back a tiger pelt. You can use it like a rug and stomp all over the damn thing every day if you like.”
     I don’t like this! What if something happens to one of them? What if something happens to HIM? “We’ve lived on this island for more than a decade without going over to the mainland. We don’t need those things. What if something happened to you?”
     “You’re not my mother!” He immediately closes his eyes like he regrets his words.

       “I’m sorry. Of course you’re not, and you’re not saying you are. I just…” His voice trails off, and he wipes his hand down his face. “I’ll speak with you tomorrow.” He gets up and storms out. The door slams, and Zane wakes up screaming.
     Sighing, I get up to feed him a little, just to calm him down. About a minute goes by, and Vik charges back inside, looking like he’s about to explode. He immediately deflates when he sees I have one half of my shirt pulled up to nurse Zane.
     His face tries to match the shade of his hair. “Sorry. I’ll…” He looks at the couch and then the door and then the couch again.
     I smirk. Men. “Go ahead and have a seat. He won’t take long to calm down.”

      He sits on the couch and looks everywhere but at me or keeps his eyes closed.
     I decide to have a little fun with him. “It’s just breastfeeding, Vik.”
     “No, it’s… I mean…” His face reddens again. It’s so cute.
     “It’s the most natural thing in the world.” I kiss my baby’s forehead. He’s getting sleepy.
     Vik puts his head in his hands, looking at the floor.
     I push a little harder. “Am I so repulsive to you that you cannot abide me breastfeeding in front of you?” I use his own words against him, changing the context of course.
     “What?” He pops his head up and looks at me, at my face mostly, but his eyes dart down a few times.
     I smile, and Zane falls asleep. Sticking my pinky in his mouth makes him let go, and I lean over to put him back in his crib. Vik adjusts his position on the couch. I fix my shirt on the way back to my seat.

       Is he pouting? “Why would you think I see you as repulsive?” he asks.
     Does he even remember how I closely matched his words? I’VE certainly thought about them a lot this past week. But I have to match this moment or it won’t make sense to him. “Because you were looking everywhere but at me.”
     “You had your shirt pulled up. I was trying to be polite.”
     “I was breastfeeding!”
     “And I was jealous of the baby.” His face turns scarlet yet again, and he looks away. Then his head goes into his hand. “That’s not to say…” He sighs. “Shit.”
     I start giggling. I don’t know what comes over me. I must be tired. But I can’t get the image of breastfeeding Vik out of my head. A grown-ass man with a full beard no less!
     He turns his head and scowls at me, probably thinking I’m laughing AT him.
     “Oh, don’t be upset, Vik. I’m laughing at the picture in my mind. Not at you.”

      “What picture in your mind?”
     I giggle. “Because you’re a grown man.”
     “And?” When I don’t say anything, he scoots closer. “You think I don’t have fantasies?” Then he unabashedly looks at my breasts.

       His eyes slowly travel up my neck back to my face.
     I have to keep my wits about me now. There’s no doubt he’s flirting this time, but I refuse to be played. “You have fantasies about breastfeeding.” It’s more a statement than a question.
     The corners of his mouth lift. “Well, maybe not so much the ‘feeding’ part. That’s just a bonus.”
     He still hasn’t said anything about me specifically, and I have no idea what to say to his last statement.
     “What, no more giggling now?”

       “I’m trying to determine your motivation,” I reply honestly.
     “Really? Because I feel like an open book. And you like to read.”
     “Sure it seems that way to YOU, but I have no idea if I should be reading anything between the lines.”
     “It’s all there. Read as much in between the lines as you like, Sama, because if what you’re reading is the fact that I’m crazy about you, you’d be right.”
     My mouth drops in shock that he actually said it, and I lean away from his attempt to kiss me so that I can ask, “For how long?”

       He lets out a short laugh in a sort of exasperated way, if such a thing is possible. “What do you mean ‘for how long’? I don’t know. The moment I met you? When I followed you up the hill the first time? When I’d taken forever building the forge because you kept distracting me with your hypnotic hips? Certainly before then.”
     “My… my what?”
     Understanding enters his eyes. “Holy shit. You REALLY don’t know, do you?”
     I am the tiniest bit pissed off, but curiosity wins out. “Know what?”
     “You’re fucking beautiful.”
     Nope. I don’t believe it. He tries to kiss me again, but I once more move out of the way.
     “Sama…” he pleads.

      “You don’t have to lie to me. You can say you like how I’m smart. You can say you like that I’m this ‘leader’ person you say I am. You can even say how you might like how I can make you angry at the drop of a hat, but don’t lie to me and say I’m beautiful. Because it’s not true.” I quickly get up off the couch and storm upstairs.

Vik

       I want to scream! How could I have been such a bonehead? I had this carefully planned out. Then, when Sama almost walked away after officially seeing the new forge, I panicked. I hadn’t planned on asking about the trip to the mainland until later. However, I DID manage to collect myself and steer the conversation back towards my intended heading, but then I couldn’t get the image out of my head of she and Rohan together. Admittedly, I don’t have the details, but my mind is plenty good at making up the missing pieces until I know otherwise. For instance, what if she still has feelings for him even though he’s with Yadira? I don’t want to tell her how I feel and wind up as just a consolation prize.
     But I bungled the whole thing up!
     I never had time for a relationship while the world was falling apart. My only experience was with Zuri, and she made it easy. With Sama, it’s anything but. It’s just that I’ve never met anyone quite like her. She’s shrewd, and she makes it look good. After all, she’s the prime reason she, Asa, and Yadira survived when they had no adult!
     During the construction of the forge, she would frequently be nearby, which also led to the slower pace I adopted in building it. When she wasn’t paying attention, I would watch her hips sway back and forth as she did laundry and whatever chore she chose to do in my vicinity. Oh, it was hypnotic. It’s a wonder my tongue didn’t hang out to halfway down my chest.
     I was an idiot just now thinking I could’ve accomplished telling her how I feel. OF COURSE there would be no way to predict how a conversation with her might go. However, I was on the right track when my temper got the better of me. Yes, let me bite your head off then try and explain how you drive me mad in another sense.

     I’ve made my way to a cliff, so I stand and take deep breaths of the salty ocean air. I could never live far from the sea. Something about it calms me, even if it’s rough weather. It’ll be all right. Somehow. I take another deep breath and glance back toward the settlement when something catches my eye.

     Oh shit. It’s Sama!  I freeze as if caught in a snare while I watch her approach. Fucking hell, I have no idea what to say now. My jaw clamps shut as a way of preventing myself from being an ass again.
     “Vik?”
     Gods only know what I must look like right now. No wonder she sounds confused.
     I nod. Mouth shut! I pick up a small pebble and fiddle with it in my hand. She’s now walked up to me.

     “I didn’t mean to upset you by trying to take my hands back.” Her exotic eyes watch me carefully.
     I take a deep breath then quickly nod again. Since I haven’t spoken, she decides to keep going.
     “I was doing that because I was uncomfortable.”

      Shit. I close my eyes as I wince. I was making her uncomfortable. Because I was being an ass. I force out another nod.
     She stays quiet for a long time, perhaps waiting for me to say something? I dare not.

      Finally, she speaks again, “I was afraid that I might try to read more into the gesture than what you intended.”

      My eyes open. But I WANT you to read more into it! My mouth opens to speak, but I force it closed again, my teeth clicking.
     Her eyes fall, looking at the ground now. I wish I knew her thoughts. They don’t look happy. “Okay,” she whispers. Then she turns to go, walking back the way she came.

     My eyes get distracted from watching her hips sway when she reaches up to quickly wipe at her face. Damn it all to hell. How does a person go about doing this kind of thing? Why can’t I just tell her? Why can’t she just figure it out?
     I turn and roughly throw the small pebble over the cliff. Then I wait a few minutes before finally deciding that I need more physical activity. I need to rip something apart.

      In between gathering things for the forge, Rohan, Asa, Orion, and I have worked on compiling a collection of useful ‘things.’ I’d thought to start by melting down the steel frame of an old, broken table, but right now, I’m frustrated enough to be able to rip off the door to the old automobile. The only reason I haven’t is because the leather on the seats is in surprisingly-good condition. I don’t want to expose the material until I have some way to oil it first.
     I stomp over and grab the table. I could at least break it apart and sand off the rust. I need to make an arrowhead mold, not to mention bows. But for right now, this table is getting demolished.

     For the next week, Sama and I don’t interact much. I’m busy with Rohan as we get ready to go to the old town in search of more ‘things.’ Our best weapons are wooden pikes he and Asa created. It doesn’t give me a lot of confidence, but hopefully, we’ll manage to find something in the town. A shotgun in decent condition would be a godsend. A man can dream.

     Our trip winds up being quite eventful! I actually manage to find THREE shotguns, all in working order, as well as a decent amount of ammo.
     That was great… because I believe Sama about the tiger thing. I didn’t SEE anything, but I smelled it. I decided that having the shotguns made our trip safer, and I used that as a sort of loophole to my promise to her. We don’t have to turn back until such time as we having better weapons–because we have them now.
     Rohan also finds some very useful things as we go through dead people’s homes. Clothing. Lots of clothing. Many bits found in cedar furniture, meaning moths and other creepy-crawlies haven’t destroyed them. With Rohan’s excitement over the whole find, Orion can’t help but tease him about his ‘fashionista’ persona. Can’t a man be happy to find clothes? Sure, it’s hot as hades right now, but winter will arrive eventually. In fact, Asa mentioned he was surprised to see snow show up this early on the far inland mountains.
     I find tools, among which are two blowtorches. One is broken, but I’m taking it anyway. It has a fuel canister.
     I feel we barely scratch the surface of the old town before Orion checks the sun and recommends we return to the island. So we load up our swag, happy that this was by no means a wasted trip.

     As we row back to our island, unwittingly named Haven by Yadira who now admits she made it up on the spot, I can’t help but notice how small it is. When we’d been aboard the sailboat, it didn’t seem that big a deal for the island to be small. But living there made it seem bigger. Strange.
     The sun starts dipping below the horizon when we finally reach the beach. Sama stands waiting for us, a smile on her face. I want to believe her radiant expression is all for me, but I need to stop kidding myself.

Orion

     Since I’m not good for much else ‘cept manual labor, I frequently offer my babysitting services to an exhausted Sama. The wee little tyke isn’t much trouble at all, and I find myself getting attached to the little fella.
     I suppose I just want to feel needed. And tiny Zane is certainly the neediest of the bunch. That, and he’s an excellent distraction to keep me from brooding.
     My life sucks donkey bollocks dipped in manure and marinated in piss for good measure. Sure, like everyone else, I’ve lost my family, but truth be told, I hated my parents. I left them as a lad to go join the Skeeves when they were a street gang. My dad was a drunk, and my mum, addicted to heroin. I can only assume they’re dead. Good riddance.
     Time with the Skeeves went about as okay as it could’ve been. I changed my name to Orion because I have an innate sense of direction. (Okay, Polaris would’ve made more sense, but I liked the sound of Orion better.) I never get lost, not in city streets, not in the woods, and apparently, not in the middle of the ocean either.
     Now THAT was an unplanned trip. Reck only got more maniacally insane the older we got, and when I caught word that Zuri was going to pull a runner, I jumped at the chance to go, leaving almost everything behind. Including Corin. My best mate. Damn, I hope he’s not furious, but he was hanging around Reck a little too much. I couldn’t give away our plan.
     Sama’s front door opens, and in walks Rohan. He doesn’t look pleased to see me as he trudges over to the bookshelf, grabs a book, and starts reading using a patch of moonlight.

     I give Zane a little smirk. Rohan HAS a bookshelf (Sama throws books at everyone) in his house as well as lanterns he could read by.
     I speak quietly to Zane, “Looks like yer dad got the boot again.”
     The bairn blows a very spitty raspberry, his latest discovery, and I chuckle. Then I gently place him back in his cradle. Turning to Rohan now, I think, This is gonna be fun. My spirits lift. I’m gonna have a laugh at this supposed ‘husband.’

     I will never forget the first time I laid eyes on Yadira. It was as if my entire soul shook. I had no idea women could even BE that beautiful. I couldn’t stop staring if I tried. I was making her uncomfortable, but she was certainly less than she could’ve been. I had to work to be able to control myself. At that moment, all I wanted in the world was to touch her face. So simple.
     But I was denied the chance as the not-worth-her Rohan quickly pointed out they were ‘married.’ MARRIED! What the blooming fuck?

     “Trouble in paradise?” I say the cliché phrase with glee.
     Rohan puts the book away. “Why don’t you just fuck off.”
     He makes it too easy! I can’t help but laugh.
     Don’t misunderstand. I like Rohan. I’ve known him what feels like eons. He lets things get to him far too often. I’ve always done what I could to get him to lighten up.
     Now, however, he’s become my rival, and I’m fighting an uphill battle, swimming upstream against the current, et cetera. The beautiful flower Yadira loves him, and it makes me crazy.
     What would’ve happened had I met her first? Or if she’d met both of us at the same time?
     “Aw, come now, Rohan. Maybe I can offer ya some advice?” Right. I laugh internally.
     “What are you even doing here?”
     I gesture to Zane. “Babysitting.”
     “Well, I can take over now, so you can bugger off.”

     I mock a shocked expression. “And abandon my post? I canna do that to Sama. That wouldna look too good for her to come down in the morning and see I’d swapped duties.” I pause. “However, if ya needing someone to look after Yadira, ta! Don’t mind if I do.” I move to get up.
     “Hold it, asshole,” he says predictably. “You know damn well that’s not what I meant.”
     I chuckle quietly. Zane has gone to sleep, I think. “Stay? Go? Make up yer damn mind.” I make a show of sitting back down.

      “Fine,” he says angrily, “stay. And since we’re both here, out with it. Why did you do it? Why did you mess with her head? Because fuck me if I understand it. I haven’t got a clue. It seems to me, you wouldn’t want to do anything to upset her since you’re on this kick of trying to make yourself look better than me.”
     My face finally falls. That moment in the garden with Yadira wasn’t my brightest.

      My biggest obstacle was their marriage, such as it was. Flirting with and pursuing someone’s girlfriend is much more different than pursuing someone’s wife. I’d foolishly thought I’d been making enough headway to go to the next step of my ‘plan,’ not that I’d actually mapped it out. If I could but dissolve the marriage, I could better justify being enamored with the lovely Yadira.
     But my meddling blew up in my face. She actually loves Rohan, someone who hasn’t been an adult for THAT long. Of course, if I stop and think about it, Yadira hasn’t either… if she actually is one in the first place. That’s not what matters, though! What I’m saying is if she wants a grown man, why not have one who’s been one longer?
     Nothing changes the fact that I was a blooming eejit, though.

     He watches me. “So you agree you were being an ass.”
     I sigh, but that doesn’t mean I’ve lost my resolve. “I stand by what I said. She’s not yer wife. But the last thing I wanted was to hurt her feelings.”
     “She’s my wife if she says she’s my wife,” he counters.
     “I disagree.” There’s no point to this, and I’m tired. I get up and move to the sofa, and I lie down on it, roll my back towards him, and pretend to sleep.

Sama

     Vik has been absolutely amazing. He’s brought everything Rohan brought us and more. He’s smart. He’s fair. He’s kind. Patient. Hard-working. Caring. Everything we need.

    And he… does funny things to my stomach. It’s almost a nausea, but it’s not like he nauseates me.

      Quite the opposite. Breathe, Sama. Haha. Imagine: me, feeling all girlie like a teenager with her first crush. I tell myself I’m just being silly. He couldn’t possibly see me as anything else but this ‘leader’ he’s proclaimed me to be. I didn’t ask to be a leader of our original three, then four. It just happened. Yet he acts like he needs to ‘report’ to me everything he’s doing.
     Like today, he’s announced he’s finally finished with the new forge.

      “It looks amazing, Vik.” Of course, I’ve been watching the progress of the building, doing my best not to stare. With the washtub and clothesline nearby, I readily volunteered to do everyone’s laundry. Every day. The construction really does amaze me, though. I remember he had the biggest smile on his face the day he found the bellows in a nearby abandoned settlement. They were in very good condition, too.
     “I still can’t believe my luck with the bellows. I’d assumed I’d have to invent something to do their job, using whatever I could find.”
     Invent. Yes, he invents, like the different uses for the tools he was able to find at the abandoned places. “Well, it would seem the gods have favored you. Or it was mere luck.”

     He laughs quietly. “I’ll take either. Or both.”
     I smile. “Now you can really get started with everything you want to do.”
     He complained it took him longer than he would’ve liked in order to build the forge, claiming the summer sun is brutal on his skin. The weather has been terribly hot this year and some years previous, much hotter than it was here during my parents’ and grandparents’ time. I faintly remember my father once joking that we had two seasons: winter and August. The climate change fixed that. It affected the flora around here for a while. Several types of trees and other plants wilted in the horrendous heat while others seemed to come out of nowhere and flourish. Nature finds a way; so will we.
     “Yes, I can try. I’m worried fuel will be a problem, though. I don’t want to cut into your cooking fire.”
     “I’ll manage.” I chuckle and say, “Maybe I can come cook over here.”

     “I would hate for you to be burned by whatever I’m working with,” he tells me seriously.
     “I’m kidding.”
     “I’m not.”
     Oh. Okay. In other words: ‘Back off, Sama. I don’t want you hovering around me, interfering with my work while you stare at me in all my shirtless glory.’ It’s fine. I get it.
     Previously, I’d wondered about his relationship with Zuri. At first, I thought he and she were together, but then I noticed his attention was more drawn to the child, Amina, than with Zuri herself. Besides, Zuri and Asa appear to be quite taken with each other. When Vik saw them together and didn’t show any sign of jealousy, I began to rethink their connection.
     My smile leaves my face. “It’s fine, Vik. I won’t bother you.” I turn to leave.
     “Er, before you go, I…” He pauses, and I turn back around to see what he’s on about.

     He gets the strangest expression on his face, like he suddenly forgot what he was going to say or can’t figure out how to say it. I’ve noticed he’s the type to think carefully before opening his mouth or deciding on a course of action. It’s one of the ways I think he’s smart. But this, I have no idea. He almost looks afraid. His face has certainly gotten redder.
     He swallows, but it doesn’t appear to help. “I… wanted to lead an expedition to the old city across the channel. I need… I HOPE to find a blowtorch or something I can use as such. Plus, I’m curious about what else might be useful we could bring back with us.”
     This is something Asa and I have talked about for years, which led to his numerous failures at boat building. When Rohan came, that idea was shelved.

     “Are you… asking my ‘permission’?” I ask somewhat incredulously. Again with the leader thing. 
     “Well, I was more asking your opinion.”
     My first reaction is to beg him not to go. “We were there as children. It was dangerous.”
     “I am no mere child, Sama.”
     No, you most certainly are not. “I swore I saw a tiger. Who knows if it’s still there.”
     “I’ve dealt with wolves and wild dogs, and I once encountered a bear. We mutually decided to part ways without fighting, but–“
     I interrupt. “But that’s not a tiger! They’re the biggest in the big cat groups. I KNOW it makes no sense for there to be a tiger here of all places. Maybe there was a zoo. I don’t know. But what if it had babies and now there are dozens of tigers roaming the streets?”
     He stops me by unexpectedly taking my hands.

     He takes a breath, and I find myself jealous of it. “I promise I’ll be careful. The thing about cats is they are typically very active in marking their territory. But at least now I’m warned.” He peeps up at me. “We’ll take every precaution, and if things appear or smell dangerous, we’ll return home until such time as I can make better weapons.”
     MUST he be holding my hands right now? I whisper, “Okay.”

     I make a move to pull my hands away, but he only tightens his grip with a cheeky grin. When I look at him quizzically, he starts talking again.
     “That’s not all I wanted to discuss.”
     “All right, but must you hold my hands while doing it?”
     “I suppose it’s not necessary, but I still want to.”
     “Okay. Then… discuss!” This is a VERY unexpected turn of events. If I didn’t know any better, Vik is FLIRTING with me. But that couldn’t be so because it’s, well, me.
     “I have learned that Rohan is the father of your infant son.”
     “Correct.” I try and fail to free my hands. Teasing me like this isn’t very nice, and if he doesn’t stop it soon, I’m going to make incorrect assumptions.
     “Does he mean anything to you?”
     Again, INCORRECT assumptions. “He’s a very nice asset to the family.”
     His jaw clenches, and his brows come together in an expression I’ve learned means he’s trying to decide what to say next. “Are you two romantically involved?”
     I feel my bottom lip quiver. This is mean. Let’s just rub it in my face now: Nobody is interested in Sama. “No. I asked for his… help… before he and Yadira got involved with each other.” Yeah. I thought I was being so smart about it too. After all, I’d learned there were other people out there. My repopulation idea didn’t have to be that way. I pull my hands again, and I almost get them free.

      He snatches them back. “Am I so repulsive to you that you cannot abide me holding your hands?” Huh? “I’m sorry. I… I’m not very… good at this.” He starts to shake, and his face turns red again.
     I blink. Am I NOT making incorrect assumptions? I’ve never seen this from him before.
     “And now I’m just making an ass of myself.” His voice drops to a whisper. “Sorry.” He releases my hands and spins away without looking at me, headed to the woods past Asa’s house, his hands fisting in his hair.

Vik

      I can’t believe our luck. We may have actually found a good home.
     When we first arrived in the calm channel between an island and an abandoned town, Orion and I heavily debated which way we should go. It was only when I looked around with Reck’s eyes did I decide we should head to the island. The abandoned town looked too obvious a choice. Plus, with Amina, I’d hoped the island would have less of a predator problem. I’d seen a few ruins amongst the trees, so I knew there would be at least a place to start. Little did I know there would be people living IN the ruins, and least of all did I expect to find Rohan.
     Our first night was easier than I thought it’d be.

     Orion chose to sleep in what used to be the woman Yadira’s hovel. It was a mess, but he was tired and just happy to sleep on a bed.

     Zuri and Amina took over what was only a slightly better hovel that the young man Asa once lived in. Asa showered her with blankets and things for Amina, but Zuri just complained of being hot, even though she was grateful.

     As for me, I dragged a mess of a single bed into the hollowed-out wreckage of an airplane. I don’t mind sleeping alone. Zuri and I grew apart ever since running away from Reck’s insanity. Not that I don’t care for her or will stop taking care of our child, but there’s nothing like being in constant close quarters to realize how much one doesn’t have in common with the other one.
     I piled up a few tires for a chair of sorts, and I built a fire just for the sheer happiness that I could.
     I chuckle as I consider my new life. I think everything will be okay now. The people here are just as varied as Orion, Zuri, and I are. And I can tell that Rohan has done what he could in the past year, namely the newest construction for Asa.

     It’s a small dwelling with glassless windows situated right in front of the crashed plane. He explained he planned on putting fabric or whatever over them, but I think I may be able to get some glass in place if I can find the right materials.
     Materials: there are LOADS of things I can work with here. For starters, the wings of this plane. They detached when it crashed. They’re aluminium. Aluminium has a very low melting point for a metal.
     I don’t want to step on any toes, and after a few days spent looking around and helping with menial chores, I watch everyone and determine the real leader of the group that was here before us is Sama.

     So the next morning, I wait for her to finish caring for her infant, and I ask her if she would walk outside with me to talk. We end up behind the also-new, small bathhouse.
     “This plane wing,” I begin, “I think is a good place to start.”
     “Start what?” She acts like she’s still trying to figure me out, her exotic eyes watching me.
     I clear my throat and say a small prayer that I don’t make her angry with what I say next. “This place is a mess, Sama. I realise you all have done what you could, but there is so much MORE that can be done with my help.”
     “Oh thank the gods,” she says in a rush of relief.

     “What?” I almost laugh. I’m asking her to elaborate.
     She takes a deep breath. “Rohan has really helped us. He’s great at brickwork and construction, but he hasn’t done anything with things here at our settlement. All he’s been doing is scavenging, something Asa had been doing for years already, and he seems to want to pull things from other places rather than clean up what’s right in front of him.” She pauses. “Not that I want to speak badly of him, but… Well, I guess I just did.” She has the biggest ‘well, fuck’ look on her face that I finally do laugh.

     “I’m sure he’s been helpful. That idiot Reck made the Skeeves lose one of its best men.”
     “I notice… You don’t have the tattoo that Rohan says was a Skeeve thing. Orion does.”
     “Yes. I was a latecomer. There were very few left from the original street gang. My home,” I pause, reminding myself that it isn’t my ‘home’ anymore, and I’d do well to stop thinking of it that way. I clear my throat. “Where I’m from was no longer inhabitable. There were oil spills and fire and mudslides, and well… I’m probably the only survivor. My point being: I managed to grab that sailboat before leaving the peninsula. At the rebuilt docks,” Docks were always being rebuilt with the rapidly-rising sea levels, “I found something that I assumed would be very useful. It took a damn crane to get it aboard, but I managed it.
     “However, when I came upon the Skeeves, they already had one they’d found, so I left mine aboard the boat.”
     “What is it?” she asks predictably.
     I smile. “A blacksmith anvil.” I remember the day I found it. I couldn’t believe my luck. It was worth the time spent repairing the crane to get it aboard, and I’m glad I left it on the boat. “It’ll take a few of us to get it on a rowboat,” I’d repaired a rowboat I found that had a few, minor problems, “and that’s praying the rowboat can take its weight.” I suppose if it doesn’t, the channel isn’t terribly deep. We could manage a kind of pulley system… But hopefully, it wouldn’t come to that.

     “You mean to use with an actual FORGE?” Her eyes light up.
     “Yeah.” I smile. “It wouldn’t be too hard to build the rest of the forge. I’m not too shabby with it either.” Am I bragging? I suppose I am. It’s just I’ll be damned before I let her think Rohan is the only decent builder out there. I’m itching to prove myself.
     “That’s so exciting! So that’s why you brought me here to talk about the wing? You want to start with it?”

      I relax, not even realizing I’d tensed up. Sama isn’t some megalomaniac chieftain. I still feel better that I discussed things with her, or, well, AM discussing things with her. I wonder what her story is, but I suppose I’ll hear it eventually. At any rate, I felt that if there was a decision to be made to do with everyone, she would be the one making it.
     “Yes. I can make a few things, but mostly, it’ll be to clean up the mess.” I need to figure out a way to disassemble the huge fallen beam and the automobiles. They’re steel. That means tools. And weapons.

Asa

     I’m all-too-happy to give away my old place to the new girl Zuri and her daughter. It still has my old bed upstairs, and I run and get whatever I can to make a bed for her toddler.
     Am I happy that there are yet MORE people here on our island? I’m not sure. I mean, that oaf Orion is really annoying, but, haha, that’s mostly Rohan’s problem, I think.

     At first, I thought Zuri and Vik were a couple, but I don’t know anymore. They’ve hardly spoken to one another since they climbed the hill to the settlement. No, in fact, Zuri seeks me out every chance she gets.

     Like right now. Amina is asleep, and Zuri decided I show her my new house.
     “There isn’t really much to see. I didn’t need a lot of space, so Rohan and I fixed a couch we found and carried another bed up here. The rest of the things are just things I think are cool.”
     She laughs her little laugh she does. “But you have many of these ‘cool’ things. Some books. Do you like to read?”

     “Uh,” I blush a little, “no. Not really. Sama kind of pushed those on me. I don’t mind.” I almost say it doesn’t matter because I finally have four walls and a roof over my head, but I stop myself, remembering she’s living in my old space. Sure, it’s livable in the warmer months, but with the entire back wall gone (probably blown off), it only felt like half a house.

     “Ah, but you are so smart, no? That is why Sama gave them to you, I am sure.”
     Is she teasing me? I laugh nervously. “Sama just has a lot of books. There used to be a library here.”
     “I will have to look at your books then. But I’ll do that tomorrow.” She pauses. “Have you always lived here?”

     “Not exactly here.” I tell her how when Sama, Yadira, and I were all kids, we lived in the city across the channel. I tell her how I found Yadira and Sama found me. “Then one night, Sama swore she saw a tiger roaming the streets, sniffing as if to try to find us. That really freaked her out. I never saw the tiger myself, but I guess it could’ve been there. I think there was a zoo or something. We found a boat and came across to hide here and have been here ever since.” The boat fell apart a few years after that.
     She nods as if understanding completely. “So you and Rohan’s wife probably owe her your lives. I would not be surprised if the tiger was real, and I’m glad Sama saw it before it found you. Sama must mean a lot to you.”
     I chuckle. “I guess she does, even though we butt heads all the time.”

      “She is your girlfriend?”

     Whoa. “Uh, no.” I try to swallow, but my mouth just went dry. Am I IMAGINING the little pout she did when she asked that? “We’re just… No, we’re not.” Sure, I supposed it was going to happen out of necessity, but now… That’s the last thing I want.

     She steps closer. “You have a cute nose, Asa.”
     I blink. “I do?”
     She does her little giggle again. “Yes, you do.” She reaches up and lightly runs her finger down my nose.
     My heart starts beating faster. Oh, fuck, I have no idea what to do here. Is she wanting me to kiss her? Because I’d be an idiot if I didn’t want to. But she wants… ME?
     “And you have beautiful lips.”

     That… just happened. And I want to kiss her, more than what she did to me, but I still can’t get over the surprise that that really just happened.
     She watches me and smiles. “I should go and check on Amina.” Her fingernail lightly skims my chest as she passes me to the door.
     I turn and watch her give me the most sultry smile I’ve ever seen as she quietly closes my front door.
     Minutes pass while I stand here with my hands on top of my head. Does she want me to follow her?

Meanwhile, back on the mainland many, many, many, many miles away…

     The council is no more. Finally, I can act on my own in the best interest of the tribe. Little did I know those lowlife Trags would be the key to my succession, those weakling religious nutcases.
     All I needed was a show of strength, and they folded. Furthermore, I “convinced” the high priestess that I was chosen by the gods to rule.
     Almost no one questions me now.

     So why am I unhappy?
     That confounding woman.
     I’d insisted up on conquering the Trags to honor HER after what they did to her. After convincing those old coots of the council to go to war, I triumphantly decided to visit her dwelling… to find the red-bearded bastard with his arms around her.
     My coronation finished, I look around my throne room, what was once the council chamber. It still needs work. For one, I wouldn’t exactly call the best chair a “throne.” It will have to do for now.
     A man walks in, just the man I’d hoped to see.
     “Did you find them?”
     “Nay, …sire.” He awkwardly bows. People still need to get used to this. He especially needs to wrap his head around the evident FACT that I alone rule the tribe. He’s known me longer than anyone still here, which must be where the belligerent tone comes from. That will need correcting.

     Nevertheless, I allow myself a devastated sigh, and I sit with my head in my hands. A woman comes in with my meal, and I dismiss her with a wave after she’s placed the food.
     My mind wanders far from this time and place.

     The war had ended. The plague had taken its toll. What was once 250 strong was reduced to a mere ten, and that included the sisters and children. In those months, I watched my best mate die, foaming at the mouth from eating what we discovered–from his sacrifice–was a poisonous berry.
     I only have a hazy recollection of the time immediately following. We would find random stragglers from different decimated groups, and we would assimilate them into what we now called our tribe. Luckily, one of the women we encountered understood plants, and thanks to her, we began to succeed.
     She died of pneumonia the following winter. Fate is wicked. However, she had her followers to take up her mantle–what are today the Order of the Lily. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
     

    I remember the autumn following. We were shocked to hear a very young child screaming in the night, and it was closely followed by the baying of wolves. Four of us grabbed our weapons, running off in the direction of the cries, hoping there was something we could do.
     We burst through the trees to find a young girl, barely fourteen, trying to hold her little brother while also beating back the wolves with a large branch, but as I remember it, they were merely testing her. The death strike would’ve come swiftly after that had we not intervened. It was I myself who intercepted that strike, slicing the throat of the awful beast.
     When the battle was over, we all turned around looking for her. She’d vanished. Moments later, we discovered she’d climbed a tree with her brother during the chaos.

     After she was finally convinced to descend, I was met by the most beautiful face I’d ever seen. Zuri. The voice to match the face was enough to melt even the stoniest of hearts. Her beguiling accent always brought a smile to my face. Over time, she lost some of her accent, but she never lost her charm.
     I felt alive again after several years of dealing with loss after loss. Oh, I wasn’t the only one to have caught her eye, but in the beginning, I worked the hardest to gain her affection.
     We watched her little brother grow, and I loved seeing her face light up whenever she saw him. He was the light of her life… until that monster Rohan killed him. Rohan the Coward left before the day of his trial.
     I could never convince her of his guilt. He was the only one there! It had to have been his fault!
     It was a little before then that she began accusing me of being a bully, and she started slipping away from me. Before I knew it, she was getting married into the Trag religious cult. That is… until they discovered her child was mine. Her marriage was quickly annulled; they returned her to us; and I met my daughter. For a short time, we were happy, but the two tribes just couldn’t keep from viewing her as a jezebel.

    I’m brought back to the here and now. “What of the child?” At least give me my daughter’s body to bury.
     He sounds apologetic, which angers me. I’m about to hear bad news that I don’t want. “I’m sorry, …sire. We tracked them to the coast, but after that, we didn’t find them. Perhaps–“

    I’m not interested in his ‘perhaps.’ I let out a roar of anger as I jump up and punch the man in the jaw. He takes it, later holding his face and adjusting his bite.
     He pulls out a wad of cloth and spits a tooth into it, wiping blood from his mouth. “Permission to speak freely, …sire.” He clenches his jaw while he talks.
     “No!” I yell, enraged. Yet, after pacing back and forth a few times, I change my mind. “What is it?”
     His eyes furiously look at me, but he dare not act on his anger. “Before Vik joined us, he mentioned having journeyed across a sea. It could be possible he had his sailboat somewhere, still in working order.”
     “Yes,” I say thoughtfully. “I believe you’re right.” For a moment, I’m happy. Then it all comes crashing down. “Which means they could be anywhere.” I let out an aggravated sigh. “Thank you, Corin. I may have yet another plan, but it will require some thought.” The question is statistically which route to take would be the easiest. I wave the man from the room. He bows stiffly and exits.

      I begin pondering my next move, heading over to the table as I do so.

     If it were me, I’d say, ‘Balls to it, I’m going as far west as I can.’ Their objective would be in getting away. Far away.

***********************************

Yadira

     I’m standing at the beach when I hear the new girl’s voice. “Hello, Yadira!” She sounds happy.
     “Hi.” I try to sound upbeat, but mostly, she’s alone in that happiness. Rohan still insists that our marriage ceremony was real, saying Orion is full of hooey, whatever that is. But the damage has been done.
     “Something wrong?”
     “What did you all do to get married where you’re from?”
     She smiles still. “We would stand before a priestess and the rest of the tribe and vow to be linked together until the gods saw fit to separate us.”
     My brow creases. “Not for all time?”
     “Oh, it varies, I suppose. However, in my case, the gods saw fit to have my husband disown me.”
     I gasp. “Oh no! He didn’t even worry about your daughter?”
     “Amina was the problem. She wasn’t his. The dates didn’t add up. That is, unless a woman can carry a full pregnancy in only four months.”
     “Then…” I ponder what could’ve happened.
     She continues anyway, “A bossy bully of a man with the Skeeves thinks she’s his.”
     “Then… who?”
     A huge grin covers her face. “I admit, at first I DID think she was Reck’s. But then, after REALLY looking at the timetable, I realized that VIK is her father.”
     My mind is whirling. “You mean you had two,” I blush, “lovers?”

     She giggles. “Oh, Yadira! I knew I’d like you!” She draws me into a quick hug. Then she pulls me back at arms’ length to look at me. “I have an ability. The Trags saw it as a sign. I can read a person’s aura.”
     I ask her to explain to me what that is. I think I’d read about it, but I wasn’t sure.
     “It’s like your life-force. And people have different colors, which typically–not always but most of the time–speaks of their true personality.”

     Her face gets very close to mine, almost uncomfortably so. “And yours is a powerful, almost-blinding white with streaks of gold.” Her hands touch my face. “Which is why you have this hair color, I think. Otherwise, you would be a brunette.” She giggles. “You glow. No wonder Rohan couldn’t resist you.”
     I blush again.
     “Oh! He still makes you blush.” She sighs happily. “L’amor.” Then she looks up at the sky. “Yadira?”
     “Yes?”
     “I once tried to seduce him.”
     I scowl at her, but she keeps going.

      “He liked it, but something held him back. Going after him made sense to me. We’re close to the same age. He’s attractive. He obviously thought I was attractive, so I thought to encourage him. It worked with most of the men I chose.” She’s had MORE than two lovers. “But not him.”
     “How many?” I ask her slowly. I decide to leave speaking of her attempt with Rohan to a later time–after I’ve had a chance to talk to him about it.
     “Oh, I don’t know. Enough. But now, I have my eye on someone new, and I want to ask you about him.”
     “Not Vik?”
     She smiles in an understanding way. “Vik is nice, but we’re not compatible. He’s a good father, a good man, but spending over a month with only him and the ever-talkative Orion made me realize we are not for each other. No.” She takes a breath. “Tell me about Asa.”

     I tell her about how Asa found me as a toddler and how he and Sama took care of me. His father had died in the war and his mother with the plague. I tell her about his short temper, which she only nods and does a quiet laugh to. He’s very good at fishing but failed every time he tried to build a boat. I also tell her of how he didn’t want Rohan in the family at first.
     “He’s protective over those he loves,” she finishes for me. “But I think he will let me in.”
     I suddenly get worried. Oh no. So this pretty woman who’s had who knows how many lovers is now setting her sights on our Asa.
     “Have you seen him naked?”
     I gasp. “Absolutely not!”

     She giggles loudly.
     I have to say something. “Please don’t hurt him.”
     “Oh, Yadira!” She hugs me again. “For a sweet soul like that, he would be my last conquest.” She pauses, thinking. “And I heard about your fight with Rohan. I think your marriage is real.”
     I pull back. “You do?”
     She nods. “For one, you have no priestess and did the best you could without one, and another reason… that I do not know if you are ready to hear. Someday you will, though.”

—————————————————————————

The Skeeve village is Riverwood from Skyrim by Sarina Sims with only very minor alterations by me since I have my own needs for it and don’t have all the packs.

     Sama leads Vik, Zuri, and Amina up the hill. Whatever happened to VOTING whether or not someone could stay?

     When I angrily question her about it later, she informs me she wasn’t going to put it to a vote, that no way was she turning away a small child.
     Damn her for making sense.

     Not only that, but she tells me that she likes Vik for all the same reasons she liked me. He’ll be good for our family (which may as well pick a tribe name with the steady rate it’s growing). Again, Sama is right. Vik is also a skilled builder, but he has a background in metalworking as well. Fuck. In his eyes, we have tons of useful scrap he can do quite a lot with.

     It’s not long before Zuri wins over what would’ve been Asa’s vote. He’s thrilled to have someone paying attention to him. I still suspect Vik holds a claim over her, but only time will tell.

     I, however, have a serious problem. Orion refuses to take the hint and pesters Yadira any chance he gets. He has too many stories to tell, and he quickly figures out Yadira’s thirst for knowledge of the mainland. Today, I catch him telling her a story of the war.
     “Of course, I couldna fit in the small space, but wee Rohan could. He covered us from above where he hid in the tower while the rest of us charged in to fight hand-to-hand.”
     ‘Wee’ Rohan? Fucker.
     “Weren’t you afraid you’d die?” she asks.

     He chuckles. “Of course I was! We all were, but it was either fight or die anyway. The point is, THEY were more afraid of US.”
     “Rohan told me he was a sniper. He must’ve been a big reassurance for you.”
     He makes a waving motion as if to say I wasn’t that important. “Oh, sure. He was so adamant that he help, we couldna say no to the lad.”
     Can I punch him out NOW? Instead, I get a better idea.

     “Saved your sorry arse more than once,” I remind him while also caressing Yadira’s lovely ass as I walk by.

     “Hello, darling,” I tell her while she watches me suspiciously. She’s told me numerous times I have nothing to worry about. She thinks Orion resembles a picture she saw of something called a wooly mammoth. “I was wondering if I could convince our friend here to stop story time and come help me haul bricks from one of the abandoned settlements.”
     She smirks. “I’m sure he’d be happy to help you.”
     The fucker doesn’t miss a beat. “Of course I would be happy to, lovely Yadira.” My blood burns angrily. “Having ta go help wee Rohan wi’ a simple task isna new concept for me.”
     I’m going to fucking kill him one day.
     I glare at him while he smiles. Oh, he thinks he’s won.

    Oops. She doesn’t look happy. Fuck. I’ll have to explain later.

     Without a word, she stomps off.

     He chuckles. “Reeeeal smooth. Have ye decided to piddle on her next?”
     Fuck him for being right. That was an ass move I just did. But I’m not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’s right. “Fuck off.”
     He outright laughs. “Well now!” He claps me on the shoulder, giving it a little shake. “Let’s go haul some bricks. Shall we?” He trots off, still laughing.
     The bastard brings out the worst in me.

Yadira

     I can’t believe he did that! How many times must I tell Rohan that I’m not interested AT ALL in Orion? And I’m not stupid! I know he’s telling the stories in a way that makes him look good, but I’m still getting the stories. I know how to filter out the bias.
     I don’t feel like I was kissed just now. Branded more like.
     But I didn’t want to argue with Rohan right there over it. It’s none of Orion’s business. But boy, is Rohan going to get an earful tonight!
     I have to sit in the house until I calm down. It won’t do to go out furious where everyone can see.
     Once I’m calm, I decide I need to work in the garden.

     I hear the spigot behind me. Then whistling. It’s Orion. I don’t have to look.

      Then I don’t hear anything, yet I can FEEL him watching me. I’m not going to turn around and acknowledge him.
     The whistling starts again, and he walks away. I breathe a sigh and start weeding the peas.
     This is good. Gardening has always relaxed me, and these past few days, I’ve needed it. There’s another child in the family now. That makes two. I can’t help but wonder how easy it was for the other child’s mother, Zuri, to get pregnant. It’s not like I MUST have a child, but I’m starting to wonder WHY I haven’t gotten pregnant. I’m young. Maybe I’m TOO young.

      About twenty or so minutes later, my thoughts get interrupted when I hear Orion’s voice. “Ye know, I was fairly good at farming in me old home.”
     “Really,” I reply, doing my best to sound disinterested. I’m a little mad at him too–for pushing my husband to act like an idiot. I glance his way, and I do a double-take.

     He grins. “I was wondering who it was that was maintaining this lovely garden. I should’ve known.”
     “You… trimmed.” I feel like a simpleton. I can’t help my shock at the change.

     He rubs his chin, smiling. “Most of it anyway. Canna find a good blade in this dump. Thought I might haveta gnaw my hair off.” He laughs quietly.

     He keeps talking. “So, yev got all this land. Have ye thought about doing more wiv it?” His voice has a different sort of lilt to it than Rohan’s. It’s similar to my ears–but different. I suppose it’s more of the outside world that I don’t understand.
     “I’ll plant more as the season goes on. When I started this, our family was much smaller.”

     “I like the way you lot refer to the tribe as a ‘family.’ It’s much more… homey.”
     “It’s Sama’s doing, really.”
     “Family has more connected sound to it.” He pauses. “Would ya like some help wi’ that? I could give ya somma the knowledge I’ve learned throughout the years. I’d be happy to teach ya everything I know.”
     I pause.

     I’m imagining this. Rohan has me reading too much into it. He didn’t mean what I thought he might’ve meant. “You’re welcome to add a garden of your own, but I’ve never had any issues all the years I’ve been doing this.” I turn around.
     “Whoa, lovely Yadira. I wasna tryin to say that ya had no idea what yer doin’.” His accent gets thicker when he gets excited, I think.

     “That’s not what I was implying.”
     He clears his throat. “Well, pay it no mind. But there IS somethin’ else I’ve been meanin’ to talk wiv ye about.”
     “Oh?”
     “Yea. I’ve, er, noticed you lot don’t have any kind of shaman or priest or, hell, even a bloomin’ witchdoctor ’round here.”

     “No. If there’s something we want to learn about religion, we have books. There was a whole library here, and Sama saved loads of them.”
     “That’s na what I’m sayin’. I was only curious how… if yev never left the island… did ya marry Rohan?”
     I sigh. “We stood on the beach and said vows to each other.” As long as we meant it, that we were committed to one another, nothing else was needed.
     “Oh.” He puts his hands on his face and slowly runs them down. “I’m sorry.”
     “No problem.”

     “Na. What I mean to say is yer marriage,” he swallows and says quite clearly, “it’s not real.”
     “Of course it is.”
     “No. The world has rules. An’ he knows that.”
     “He said he believed having a religious… whatever… wasn’t necessary. We said it before… before the universe.” I start breathing faster.
     “He canna change the rules just because it suits him. Yadira, yer NOT married.”
     What he says has what feels like the truth in it. My eyes begin tearing up.
     “Oh no! No no no. I’m sorry.” He goes to wipe my cheeks, but I jump back away from him.

     “Don’t touch me!” I hiss. “I don’t want to listen to this!”
     “But it’s true nonetheless.”
     “Leave me alone!” I yell at him, and he jumps back. His face falls, and he walks away.

      I stand here and do pathetic hiccup-sniffs before turning and running back into the house.

      A few minutes later, I hear Rohan walk in.
     “Er, Yadira, darling, I know I was an ass earlier.”
     “Oh, you don’t even know the half of it!” I bury my face in my hands and cry. Rohan and I haven’t been married at all, and he’s been playing me like a fool!

Rohan

     Even though we only had that ONE time, Sama wound up pregnant with my child. To my everlasting relief, Yadira wasn’t distraught over what happened. She merely told me in an even, very-adult-sounding voice that that happened before we became a couple.
     Yadira and I haven’t done anything to try and prevent her from getting pregnant herself, but it hasn’t happened.

     Personally, Sama’s delivery was frightening enough not having a midwife in attendance. If I should lose Yadira to childbirth… I don’t even want to consider the possibility.

Sama had a boy, and she named him Zane.

     “Rohan!” It’s Asa. “I need to speak to you. Urgently.”
     “All right.”
     Asa and I have managed to make a kind of friendship work. Mostly, I’ve been training him to fight. He’s getting pretty good, but he has yet to top me when I’m fully on my game. The only time he can manage successfully to defeat me is if Yadira is in the vicinity. My gorgeous wife distracts me constantly.

      “Last night,” he begins, “I was standing at the cliff’s edge when I spotted another sailboat in the channel.”
     My voice is a gasp. “Fuck.”
     Within the past year, I’ve pulled my boat up into a tight cove, but it could be easily viewed from the water if at the right spot. Fuck, I’ve assimilated the ‘no one is going to bother us’ attitude just a little too much from these three. I hadn’t counted on someone showing up this soon.
     “Is it still there?”
     “Yes.”
     “Show me.”

     I’m gasping again. “Well fuck me. It’s a nice one, too.” The sails are all trimmed, and… “Asa, look!” I dart over to the wall and point down at the water. “The V’s. Do you see them?”
     He looks. “Is that what I think it is?”
     “It is.” People are swimming in the direction of the beach below the settlement. I look further, and I even see that at least one of them holds onto a board to aid them swimming to shore.
     “What do we do?”
     “Grab your pike. We’re investigating.” My heart races as we run for our pathetic wooden weapons. We don’t tell the women, hoping the crew on the boat is merely looking for supplies. There’s a chance the women would encourage them to STAY, and I don’t want that.
     Asa and I sneak down the path. We get about halfway down, and I advise him to stash his weapon somewhere as I do the same. Confused, he does as I suggest.

     “Fuck,” I mutter under my breath. Why? Just… WHY? “Fuck and fuck.”
    “What is it?” Asa asks quietly.

     “I think I know them. They’re all right, just…” Just I don’t want them here. I now understand why Asa didn’t want ME here. “Just let me do the talking. Watch my back.”
     He cracks his knuckles. “Got it.”
     I take a deep breath and walk out from our cover, starting toward the immigrants.

     The two men immediately break apart, and Vik, the redhead I recognized, urges a woman and child to get behind him. I hold up my hands peacefully and slow my advance.
     “Hold the phone!” the man with the brown hair says, taking me back more than a decade with the phrase. “Is that ROHAN?” He laughs. “Hey-ey-ey-ey!” He closes the distance between us while Vik stays where he is.

     He grasps my shoulders in a gesture of camaraderie. I sense Asa tense. “C’mon, Rohan. Don’t ya recognize me?”
     I look at his face, which is a bit harder to see under all that hair. “Orion?” I should know that bloody-awful thick accent anywhere.
     “Yea!” He lightly shakes me. “Where’ve ya been? Here, I gather?” He looks around appraisingly.
     This is bad. Orion annoys the fuck outta me. I suppose in the old days, he’d be considered a bit of a hippie or environmentalist. That’s not what annoys me. He’s far too ready to laugh at things. Namely anything I want to take seriously.
     “What’ve ye been up to?” he asks, now noticing Asa. “And ye made a friend!” Still with the belittling tone, I see.
     He’s only five years older than me, but he’s always treated me like a preteen. Can I punch him now?
     “Why the beard?” I ask him.

     “Do ya know how dangerous it is ta shave in rough seas? ‘Bout damn near cut me own throat just tryin’ ta run the blade across. Seas are calmer here. I’ll get around to it.”
     More relaxed now, Vik walks over to us. “Hello, Rohan.” Then he looks like he wants to continue with Orion’s seafaring tales.

     “Oy, we had fifty foot waves crashing down on us one night. There was a moment I feared we were all done for.”
     Orion turns to Vik with a laugh. “Yer exaggeratin’.”
     I chuckle, trying to sound lighthearted, but the woman behind Orion catches my eye.
     Fuck.

     It can’t be. Why did SHE come with them? It’s Jers’ older sister. She was in a relationship with Reck himself the last time I saw her. And she’s carrying a small child.
     She sees me looking at her.

     “Hello, Rohan.” I don’t see any anger in her eyes. She’s undoubtedly heard about Jers and what Reck thought. I never got to hear her take on it. Even though my shock still rules my emotions currently, relief also pricks me that she apparently doesn’t blame me.
     “Zuri. What are you doing here?” In other words: why are with them?
     Vik answers for her. “She was wed to one of the Trags.” He mentions a band of people that more closely resemble a religious cult than a tribe. They coexist near to the Skeeves’ main camp and trade amicably. “And now she’s not,” he finishes cryptically.
   Zuri always did have a way for attracting multiple men, so I’m not too shocked to learn that she moved from Reck to an engagement then married then divorced.

      Orion gives Vik a knowing look. “They figured out the wee lass wasna theirs.”
     “What do you mean?” I ask.
     Vik turns to me. “The child was conceived before the wedding.”
     Orion grins and also looks at me. “Rohan, ye havena introduced yer new pal!”
     I introduce Asa to them and them to Asa.

     He speaks for the first time. “A toddler on a sea voyage? That must’ve been difficult.”
     She laughs like the tinkling of little bells. “Oh, not Amina.” She kisses the girl’s forehead. “She loves the sea.”
     I don’t miss how Vik reaches up his hand to hold Zuri’s elbow. There’s a certain possessiveness in the gesture.
     “So, Asa,” Orion begins, “tell us how ya came ta be here. Were ye alone?”
     I interrupt. “Is there anything we could help you with? Are you in need of supplies?” Hint. Bugger off.
     Zuri answers, “We’re looking for a new home.”
     Fuck.
     Zuri puts the child down so that she can play in the sand.

     Vik looks at Orion as he explains their story to me, “Reck is out of control. When we left, he was planning an attack on the Trags.”
     I stop watching the child for a moment. “Why? There was peaceful trade.”
     Orion sighs, for once not laughing. “They’re smaller, so Reck assumed that meant they needed ta be defeated an’ their resources taken. He completely swayed the council.” He looks at me like he wished I’d been there.
     “I wouldn’t doubt they’re a thing of the past now.” Vik looks at Amina with a sad expression on his face as she plays.
     Fuck! They see this island exactly as I saw it: isolated, hidden. They’re running.
     Orion suddenly turns his head.

     He sounds like he’s having trouble catching his breath. “Well, NOW I see what ya been hiding.”
     FUCK! I hear Sama talking to Yadira behind me.
     Asa dashes over to Sama while I do the same with my darling wife.

     I hardly know what I’m saying. I wish they had stayed at the settlement, but they must’ve gone looking for us. Dammit. Maybe I SHOULD’VE told them.
     “So they’re… Skeeves?” I watch her eyes move, probably landing on Zuri.
     “They have apparently run away just like I did.”
     “Do they need help on their way?” She keeps looking at all of them, and I want to wilt with relief. She doesn’t want them to stay either.
     “That’s what I’m trying to find out.”
     I hear Sama. “The baby is sleeping. Stop blocking me, Asa. I want to talk to them!”
     I walk past them back to the newcomers.

     I decide to have a very pointed conversation with Orion. “We would be happy to help you resupply for your continued journey.”
     He chuckles. “Resupply?” His eyes rake my wife as he continues, “Now why would we wanna do that?”
     Asa responds to Sama, “There’s really no need. We have it under control.”
     Orion takes a step toward Yadira, who is also walking in my direction.

     His chest puffs out as he takes a breath. “What we ‘need’… is a home.”
     “Orion, let me introduce you to my WIFE, Yadira.”
     “So ye went an’ got yerself married.” His eyes don’t leave her, and I wonder who exactly he’s addressing.

     Yadira manages a kind of authority in her voice. “This is the sacred island of Haven. Only the gods determine who stays on her shores.”
     My head slowly turns in her direction. What the fuck was that all about? I pause and think. No, wait. She’s bloody brilliant. Sama passes her, determined to speak to Vik and Zuri.
     I take Yadira’s hand. “May I speak with you over there, please?” I’m sure to keep a tone of respectful obedience in my voice.
     “You may.”

     “What are you doing?” I keep my voice very quiet. I don’t have to look to know Orion is watching us intently. Or just Yadira intently.
     “Well, I thought, given what you told me…” She blushes.
     “No, I fecking love it. Why couldn’t we think of this sooner?”

     But then Sama goes and ruins everything. “Of course you’re welcome here. You’ll need to build your own housing, but let’s see what we can do for you for the time being.”
     Orion chuckles, having also heard her. “Looks like the gods decided.”

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btw: I fecking hate writing accents, but sometimes, it’s the best way for you to ‘hear’ what I’m hearing. /sigh Sorry if it’s annoying to read.

A/N: Fasten your seat belt!

———————————————–

Yadira

      My heart is racing. Rohan just KISSED me.
     All I’ve wanted since Rohan joined us was for him to think I’m worth the effort. But it seemed like all he was doing was showing all of us (not just me) how wonderful he is at everything. Sure, we all have realized we need him, but I’d hoped he’d single me out as someone more special to him.
     Then the whole Sama thing happened, and I wanted to cry. But I didn’t have a right to cry. He could do what he liked. It’s not like we had a romantic… thing… going.

     Earlier, it was all I could do to focus with the way he was parading himself around. I had a goal: I wanted to find out if there had BEEN anyone he left behind, someone that he cared about. Maybe that’s why he never said he really wanted just me. That’s not to say I never got any clues that he might, but after he’d do whatever, he wouldn’t SAY anything! I thought maybe if I got him talking about it, he might tell me one way or the other. But then I chickened out. I didn’t want to hear how he wasn’t interested in someone he saw as just a child, and afraid I was about to hear that, I got up to leave.

Then…

     …surprise!
     That was NOT how you kiss your little sister; that was NOT how you kiss someone you think of as a child. But I guess I wasn’t ready for him to tell me he liked me like that like THAT.
     Finally, he speaks against my lips, telling me that he DOES like me romantically, and I felt like I was flying. He kissed me again, and that’s when I started noticing how he was pushing into me. Sama had taught me about this kind of thing one very awkward night years ago, but I didn’t know it was going to be like THIS.

     And now he’s asking me to give him a chance. Why am I scared? Isn’t this what I thought I wanted? All those times I was hoping he’d tell me, but I wasn’t expecting SUCH a physical tidal wave to go with it.
     He lifts my face, and I see the pleading in his eyes. I swallow, wondering how I’m going to tell him how scared I am.
     “I… don’t know what to do next.” Oh great, Yadira. Let’s just remind him how you have no idea what you’re doing. But it’s true! If I say I’ll give him this ‘chance’ he’s asking for, does that mean he’s going to pull me into his house and… THAT will happen?
     “Well, er…” He swallows now. “Are you attracted to me, Yadira?”
     That’s easy. “Yes.”
     His whole body sighs with relief, and he kisses me again. When he pulls back, he says, “Then that’s what I wanted to know.”
     I close my eyes, and he pulls my head to his chest. This is nice. I can hear his heart beating while he takes in and lets out deep breaths. We stay like this for a while, and his breathing returns to normal.
     “Would you like to live in my house with me, Yadira?”
     “Because you think my house is terrible.”
     “No, because I want to sleep with you.”
     I pause. “Just sleeping?”
     I can hear the smile in his voice. “Not unless you WANT more, but I’m guessing you’re not ready for that. Am I right?”
     “You are.” How does he know?

     So that’s how it happens that I move into Rohan’s house. And we sleep together. Just sleeping. Well, and kissing.
     A month goes by, and Sama starts acting really happy, which makes me suspicious. But I don’t ask her about it because I don’t want to know.

      “So you decided not to go fishing after all?” I hear behind me. Turning, I see Rohan. What… is he wearing?
     “Are you wearing one of my skirts?”
     He chuckles. “Well, I washed all my other clothes, and they’re currently hanging up to dry. So, yeah, I hope you don’t mind me borrowing this for a little while. That is… unless you prefer I go around in the buff.”
     “No, wearing my skirt is fine.” Honestly, I’m surprised he’s not taking this chance at displaying his goods again.

      “So I, er, had some leftover ripped sail, and I wanted to make you something, speaking of clothes.”
     I smile. He looks so nervous! “You made me something?”
     He points to the woods behind me. “Yeah. I hid it up there.”
     I hug him and thank him then run off to go try on whatever it is.

      The dress is beautiful, of course, and I walk back over to thank him again. However, just before walking out of the trees, I stop. Rohan is standing at the beach gazing out over the water, and I just stand here and look at him.
     He has brought so much to all our lives, but I’m especially glad for what he’s brought to mine. He loves me. He’s told me. It was so cute and funny the first time he did. I had just opened my eyes one morning to see his face covering my vision, like he’d been watching me sleep. ‘I love you,’ he said then kissed me. My feet have hardly touched the ground since.
     I love him. I’ve not told him. Silly me. After all that waiting in the beginning, you think I’d learn.

     I call his name, and he turns. I can’t really read his expression as I walk towards him.

     “What?” I ask, trying to understand his look. “You don’t like it?” Maybe this isn’t what he imagined.
     “On the contrary.” He walks to me.

     He reaches for my hand, and he acts like he’s trying to figure out what to say next.
     So I decide to go ahead and speak. “Thank you. It’s lovely.”
     “I’m having that overwhelming feeling again that I should just fall to my knees and start worshiping you.”
     I start giggling. He’s since told me what he was thinking that night he ran after me with the pointy stick, when we met. He ACTUALLY thought for a while that I was a goddess. It’s funny now. He’s so wonderful. I throw my arms around him.

      “I love you,” I tell him happily.
     He takes a deep, quick breath, and his arms wrap more around me. His lips are at my throat, and his tongue darts out as his head moves to my chin.

     There’s a low moan as he kisses me, massaging my tongue with his. He’s getting turned on. I can feel it. But I’m more used to that now. He’s told me not to worry about it, and I’ve really liked how he’s moved himself against me several nights. At first, I want that again right now, but it’s different this time. I want more.

       Panting, I look him in the eyes and say, “I’m ready.”
     “What?”
     “For… you know.”
     “Are you sure?”
     I nod my head and take his hand, pulling him back into the woods. He stumbles along behind me, distracted by kissing my hand and what amount of my arm he can reach as I pull him. I’m headed back to our settlement when I pause. No. I don’t want to go up there. I want more privacy.
     His old lean-to is still standing, and it’s closer. I head in that direction, and he eagerly follows me.
     “Good idea,” he mumbles before pulling me into another kiss. Eventually, we do make our way over to the lean-to.

      He looks down at me. “You’re sure.”
     Stop asking me that! The last thing I want to do is chicken out right now. “Yes.”

     “You can always stop me,” he says as his hand slides up the dress from my waist and cups my breast. Then his mouth attacks what he pushes out of the dress.
     It’s wonderful. Rohan doesn’t give me a second to think anything else but how badly I want this. In fact, he starts driving me crazy how he doesn’t act hurried, like he has all day and night and then possibly the next day before he’ll finally DO anything about this ache that’s forming. I start worrying he really intends to take that long and find myself begging.

     But no, finally he starts rocking himself into me, bit by bit. While he does this, he frequently kisses me and pulls up to watch my face. I think he’s watching for signs of pain? There really isn’t any, and I think I realize why he was taking so long before–at least one reason.
     Then he’s pushed in all the way, and I watch as his eyes roll to the back of his head, a low moan escaping from him. After that, it’s like I go on the ride of my life as that need from earlier rises to a height I would think impossible if I weren’t experiencing it. Then the whole world explodes around us suddenly before we float back down to the ground in feathery waves.
     Rohan is still on top of me, panting, occasionally kissing my neck. “I never want… anyone else… to have you.”

     “I don’t want anyone else,” I reply.
     He kisses me. “There IS something we can do about that.”
     “What?”
     “Get dressed.” He grins. “Unless you’d rather be naked.”
     So I get up and get dressed as he recommended, and he does as well. Then he surprises me!

     “Rohan!” I start laughing with him while he carries me to the beach. He looks so HAPPY.
     “There’s something we can do. You’ve probably heard about it. A ceremony. With the tribe,” he adjusts his hold of me as we get closer to the water, “there was someone usually performing it with the couple, but we don’t have to have that in my opinion.”

      “Are you talking about getting married?” Of course I’ve heard of this.
     He grins. “Yes. And I think… if we say vows here… even if we don’t have a priest or shaman or whatever, we’re standing before the god or gods as our witnesses.”
     My eyes start tearing up, and he takes my hands.
     “Beautiful goddess Yadira, will you allow this humble mortal to be united with you forever, to do his utmost every day to do whatever it takes to fulfill the desires of your heart?”
     I smile, and my heart swells. “Wonderful master-craftsman Rohan, will you allow THIS silly little girl to be the lucky one to become your wife?”
     “Fuck, I love you.” He yanks me to him and kisses me hard. Then he pulls back. “So that was a yes, correct?”
     I laugh. “Of course.”

     So Rohan and I make vows to one another to have our souls united as one, to love and support each other no matter what the world throws at us.

     He’s my husband, and I’m his wife.

     Life continues as if in a dream. Rohan and I speak of the future, of children, of things he wants to build. We’re so happy.

***************************

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I thought I did more poses for this one, but I can only find the one:

At any rate, here is the package for the couple pose: SFS. TOU: don’t claim as yours.

CW: Rohan’s bare bum later in the chapter.

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     A frustrated week later, I’m brooding in front of my fire about how nothing has happened with Yadira when I hear Sama behind me.

     “I’m ovulating.” Her voice sounds so matter-of-fact as she rounds the sofa.
     I turn my head and look at her, feeling zero attraction. “Sama, I’m sorry. I’ve thought about it, and I just–“

     “Shh. Don’t say it. Please.” She watches me look at her, seeing pity in my eyes. “I know you don’t want me. But let’s do this anyway.”

     “It doesn’t work like that.” I back my head up when she tries to brush her thumb across my lower lip. Undeterred, she climbs on top of me anyway.

     “Close your eyes,” she says quietly.
     I could decide to throw her off me. I could do it, too. No problem. But then she starts grinding her hips against me, and I’ve been lusting after Yadira for what feels like years. God’s balls, my fucking body starts responding.
     “Think of her,” she whispers. “Think of her as I take you inside me.”
     I lean my head back, eyes still closed. Oh, fuck. Am I really about to do this again? I picture Yadira: her face, her eyes, her hair, the curves of her body… how badly I want her… how I wish it were she grinding atop me instead of the older, smarter woman… the woman who can’t help her little cry of pain when I pierce into her. But she doesn’t stop. She continues toward her goal.

     I briefly wonder where she must’ve read about this–because she’s really not that bad.
     I won’t deny how good it feels, and I open my eyes to look at her as she keeps working me.
     That was a mistake, and I quickly close then again. Yadira, my mind whispers to me. It does help.
     The woman picks up speed, and my toes curl against the floorboards. Oh, fuck! Panting, I grab the edge of the sofa, listening to the little noises she makes as we’re getting close.
     Then it’s done. I come inside her, and we’re quiet for a moment.
     She clears her throat. “I’ll go lie down on the cot for a little while to, um, make sure it… sticks.” She blushes and gets off me.

     That was… interesting. How was that different from the last times I had to do that? Those other times, it felt like ‘just another thing.’ Not that it was bad then either. It just… it didn’t matter then. I had no real lasting attachment to anyone.
     I get up. I need to go for a swim–wash myself off.

     I pick some fruit on my way back up to the settlement, and I decide to grill it. As I watch it cook, my mind wanders in a continued attempt to come to grips with myself and what happened.
     She ambushed me. I feel used, unclean, even though I just bathed in the ocean. It’s not like it was my first time or even my first time being used in that way.

     But my heart didn’t belong to anyone those times with the Skeeves. That’s it. That’s the crux of it. I want more with the young goddess Yadira. If I could ever figure out how to show her without it all self-distructing like it’s done so many times I’ve tried, that would be a bloody miracle.
     I eat, and, still feeling unclean, I go try bathing in what might’ve once been a swimming pool.

     Yadira mostly uses the water for her plants, but I realize me doing a little swimming won’t hurt anything. The water is actually cleaner than I expected. I hear a giggle.
     “You’re swimming in that?” the most perfect voice asks, still giggling.
     I turn around and smile, my heart lifting for the first time today. “I thought I’d give it a go. It’s not bad. Care to join me?”
     She giggles again.
     And then removes her outer clothing.

     I swim closer as she sits at the edge of the water. My eyes stare at her knees as I imagine parting them slowly.
     “It’s got algae in it. Don’t you feel dirty swimming in that?”
     “Not at all, really. I just kick it away.”
     She makes a face, so to oblige her, I hop out of the water to sit next to her.

     “Oh!” She quickly looks away. “You’re naked.”
     I laugh, feeling lighthearted for the first time all week. “Well, why not? I wouldn’t want to get my clothes all wet.”
     She clears her throat and looks everywhere but at me.

     “So I’ve never asked,” she begins, “what are the other people out there like? I mean, are they nice mostly or mean mostly?”
     I shrug. “I suppose they’re just like you’d expect people to be: some are nice, some aren’t.”
     “Did you have any friends?”
     “A few.”
     “What do you think they thought of you leaving?”
     I scratch my head and lean back, trying to catch as much of the warmth of the sun on my skin as I can. “I suppose they understood why. It really didn’t look good for me with Reck doing his best to convince everyone I pushed the boy off the cliff.”
     She looks down. “Did you have, um, someone that… uh…”
     My head snaps in her direction as hope rises in my chest like a hundred birds suddenly deciding to take flight. “Someone like what?” I urge her to continue. Someone who meant something special to me? No. Not especially. There were those I liked more than others–but never in the same way as I do her.
     She loses her nerve. “Never mind.” She gets up.
     “You mean did I leave behind someone I loved?” That stops her.

     “It’s nothing. Forget I asked.” She starts bending down to pick up her clothes, but I have other plans.
     She didn’t say that wasn’t the question she was trying to ask. She would’ve certainly if that were true.
     I hop up, surprising her. “No. There was no one back there that I loved.”

     “Rohan, you’re still naked.”
     “Right. So I am. And no, I didn’t love anyone with the Skeeves. All that changed when I came here.”
     “You realized you loved someone from your old tribe when you came here?”
     I don’t know whether to scream, laugh, or cry. “No.” I step towards her.
     “Then what…” Her voice trails off, and her cheeks pinken. And I can’t take it anymore. I quickly pull her the rest of the way to me and claim those lips once and for all.

     She immediately stiffens in shock, and I hold her head in place, begging for a different response. No! This is all wrong! Why do I have to be such a fecking idiot? So many times I KNEW this would be a bad way to do it, yet I go and bloody well do it anyway.
     I hope speaking against her lips will help. “It’s you. Of course it’s you. From the moment I met you.”
     Fuck! She starts shaking. My bare-ass naked self can’t hide how turned on I am, and I want to punch myself in the face for scaring her. But I dare not pull away completely. I separate our lips and hold my forehead to hers while both of us work on catching our breath.
     “I… didn’t mean… to kiss you like that… the first time.” Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!
     Every inch of her burns into my skin where we touch. “Then how did you mean to do it?”
     I smile. Perhaps I can still salvage this. “Like this.” And I gently touch my lips to hers. She shakes a bit again, but she’s more relaxed about it as I linger. So sweet. I ‘nudge’ her in a way she doesn’t expect.
     She quickly pulls away.

     “Wait,” I beg, holding on to her. “I didn’t want to scare you.”
     “Then why did you do that?”
     “I can’t help it.” I assume she means what she felt against her. I pull her hand up to my lips and kiss it. “It’s what you do to me.” Then I kiss each one of her fingers in turn.
     “So it’s MY fault?”
     “Fault?” I want to laugh but hold it in. This isn’t perfect, but it could be worse. She could be screaming and trying to fight me off. That she’s not gives me more hope than I’d dared to dream. “It’s no one’s ‘fault.’ It just happens.” She won’t stop looking at the ground. “Yadira, darling, will you give me a chance?” I hold her cheek in my palm, letting go of her hand. “I adore you.”
     I gently tilt her face up to look at me, and I’m nervous by what I see.

     “AGH!!!” I yell in surprised, embarrassed fright, quickly pulling my hand out of my crafted shortpants. Panting, I ask, “What?”

     I’m still trying to catch my breath.
     “An owl!” Her eyes are wide in fear.
     “Okay?”
     “You don’t understand. I’m terrified of owls.”
     “You are?” I blink. “Why?”
     She doesn’t answer. “Please, would you go and scare it away? I can’t sleep if I know it’s out there.”
     I scratch the back of my head. “Right. Okay. I’ll give it ago.” Standing, but not totally upright, I vacate the sofa, and she takes my place.

     I keep my hand over the front of me, hoping she doesn’t notice. She doesn’t, but it’s only because she’s freaking out about the damn owl.

     Before I locate the owl, I hurry and ‘finish myself off.’ Better able to focus now, I find the nighttime nuisance. Sure enough, it’s flitting around Yadira’s little camp. I wonder if it has a nest nearby.
     Just in case she looks out the window, I make a show of scaring away the feathered fiend. It does fly off, but I don’t know for how long. Then I return to the house.
     When I sit on the sofa, I notice she’s shaking. I gently hold her shoulders.

     “Hey.” I rub her arm in what I hope is a reassuring way. “It’s gone, but I honestly can’t say whether or not it’ll be back. But even if it comes back, I don’t think it’ll bother you.”
     “That’s where you’re wrong. It showed up last year. It starts acting like I’m invading ITS territory when I was there first. It likes to fly right at my hair. One time, when I was fighting with it, it scratched my arm up.” She quickly shows me a small, faded scar. Then she puts her head in her hand again and sounds close to tears. “And now it’s back!”
     “It’ll be okay.” Will it? I’ve always admired owls; it’s why I have one with the wings spread on my back.
     “No, it won’t! I even had to cut my hair last year because it kept getting in the way of me fighting it off.” She sniffs.

     I reach up and touch her hair. It’s as soft as rabbit’s fur. Resisting the urge to put my whole face in it proves near impossible, but I somehow manage it.
     She turns her head.

     “What am I going to do?”
     The backs of my fingers now brush against her cheek, which is somehow even softer than her hair. Gods help me.
     She continues, “Normally, I’d just run off to sleep on Sama’s couch, but I’m…” She looks at the fire. “She’s not exactly my favorite person right now.”
     My voice cracks. “Then…” I clear my throat. “Then stay here.”
     She turns more around now. “Really? You don’t mind?”
     If I don’t kiss her soon, I’m going to spontaneously combust. “I don’t mind.”
     Her face and posture wilt, and she rests her head on my chest. “Thank you.”
     FUCK! I scream in my head.
     “I know it sounds silly,” she says, “but would you stay with me on the couch?”
     Hells yea. “Sure.” Somehow we manage to get comfortable.

    And so I finally hold the goddess Yadira in my arms. All I have to do is lift her chin and tilt my head down and her mouth is mine, but she distracts me.
     “How did you get all your tattoos? Do they mean something?”
     I’d swear it sounds just like a child asking for a bedtime story, and that makes me pause my more ardent intentions. I clear my throat. “Well, the owl I have on my back I got during the war.” She acts surprised I fought, and I tell her how I spent my late child to early teen years as a nighttime sniper because of how well I could see in the dark. “They gave me the nickname ‘Hoots.’ I’d almost forgotten that. It feels like a million years ago.”
     “And what about here?” Her fingertips run along my chest, and I start getting hard again.
     I take a deep breath. “The tribe gave me that one and the one on my leg.” Then I answer her next question. “The one on my arm is when the tribe was a street gang. It’s a decorated ‘S.'”

      “Hm,” she exhales out her nose and totally relaxes.
     This is so perfect. It’s killing me. She feels completely safe in my arms, so safe that she fell asleep. If I tried to seduce her right now, it would actually ruin this moment.
     Damn it.

      My body is furious with my mind right now. It’s screaming at me just to take her, but it’ll have to get over it.

     Because I want more than the blissful pleasure I can find between her legs, so I’ll tolerate the hell I’m in from resisting base impulses.
     Well, maybe a little kiss? She’s asleep; she won’t even realize it.

     I plant a feather-soft kiss between her eyebrows.
     No. When I finally DO kiss her, I want her to realize it. I want her to want it.
     I rest my head back on the arm of the sofa and sigh, my eyes traveling over her face.
     ‘Sama isn’t my favorite person right now,’ she said.
     Fuck. What am I going to do about that?

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Poses used in this chapter: first bit (yadira freak out, rohan on couch doing… *cough*, rohan discovered, rohan recovered, rohan walk off bent over some, yadira on couch, rohan and yadira on couch variations) SFS.
More couch stuff: SFS. (poses from Chain Reaction legacy chapter 3.1.34 plus lying down couch poses from this one)
TOU: don’t claim as yours